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lawsofmodernman:
158
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Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever (via larmoyante)(via peculiarandperturbed)
@Pisces_Women (via strutintomyworld)
I’m alive. I thank God I’m alive. But I wish I weren’t so sick. And I wish things could go back to the way they used to be a few months ago.
I can’t help but to feel he abandoned me when I really needed him the most. If the roles were reversed, I would have put the petty shit aside and rolled up my sleeves. But not everyone is as resilient as me. I would have never left him ill or kept him stuck in some in-between blackness without any definite end.
I would have warned him BEFORE I fell out of love. or lust. or whatever obligation it seems to be.
But now, I will never trust him again. I will never believe another word he says. I will not answer his phone calls. I don’t want to hear his messages. Can’t stand the sound of his voice. I wish I hated him. Then, it would be easier. Then I could be my ruthless self and meet him with silence.
Honestly, all I wanted was for him to tell me he would do it. That he would step out of his mask and give me everything he had. I don’t deserve any less than that. But instead, he fell back into old patterns and forgot what he had with me.
And he will not remember, unless I leave.
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